


I gave you the key, when the door wasn't open.

by Beadeer



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M, Maybe I'll add one later, Missing Scene, Not a fix it at the moment, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 18:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3907003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beadeer/pseuds/Beadeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry had told him to "stay here" before he had slammed out of the door, and now Eggsy was left waiting for him to come back, to sort everything out, just like he had promised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I gave you the key, when the door wasn't open.

**Author's Note:**

> So it's a long flight to Kentucky right, even in a Kingsman Jet. Did Eggsy just stay in Harry's house the whole time, waiting for him to come back, and how did he get onto Harry's computer when even Merlin couldn't?
> 
> This is my interpretation of what he might have been through whilst he waited. I haven't written anything in a very long time, and this was all written in a few hours, so I hope you like it. Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated.

Harry didn’t say goodbye, and Eggsy’s words stuck in his throat, choking him. He had never really been that bothered about disappointing people before, ‘cept his mum, because he figured, it wasn’t like they were that bothered about not letting him down, so why should he care about their opinions? Harry though, Harry was different from all of them, and the look of anger and disappointment on his face was worse than if the other man had punched him. Eggsy could have dealt with that, maybe, because it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it. But the thought of letting the Harry down? That hurt, worse than anything. 

Mr Pickles eyes stared at him balefully through the bathroom door, and Eggsy glared right back. “What the fuck you lookin’ at?” he growled, “He fuckin’ stuffed you and stuck you in the shitter”. 

The dog continued to stare him, and shook his head at himself. He was arguing with a taxidermied pet dog (seriously, he didn’t care what Harry said, that was fuckin’ creepy); he had officially lost it. He shut the door, and wandered through the house, to collapse on the sofa in the living room. It’d been less that 12 hours since he’d been here last, but the house felt different without Harry; colder and too quiet. He kept expectin’ to hear Harry rattling around in the kitchen, making tea. He wanted to go and find Dean and kick the shit out of him, because seeing his mum’s black eye (just another in a long line of bruises and broken bones) had felt like reality had slapped him right in the face. He had been away trying to get the skills and means to get her and his sister out, and he’d left them in Dean’s mercy. 

He blew out a long breath, and let his head fall against the back of Harry’s sofa. He’s been ready to take Dean out, and make him pay for everything he’d ever done to his mother when he didn’t have the ability to stop him, but Harry bloody Hart had fuckin’ kidnapped him, and now his mum was probably in even more danger than ever. Fuck. But Harry had said to wait. “Stay here”. It’d been one of the last things that Harry had ever said to him, followed by a promise to come back. Eggsy had to trust that, he owed Harry that. So he was staying exactly where he was, even if he wanted to go and show Dean that boxing experience didn’t mean shit compared to Kingsman fight training. That, and he just needed to hit somethin’. 

***

“Where is he Merlin?” Eggsy had never been good at staying still, particularly when he was stressed. He was currently pacing around Harry’s living room, his mobile cradled in his hand, unable to sit still after waiting patiently for Harry for over two hours. 

“He’s away on a mission.” Eggsy rolled his eyes at that, even though the older man couldn’t see him; it was automatic response to someone stating the bloody obvious. 

“No Shit. I didn’t think he was down the bloody shops. But he said he’d be back” He stopped walking, and lent his hip against the sofa, the stress of the day starting to catch up to him. “He said he was gonna fix it, and he ‘asn’t come back.” His voice had turned plaintive, and slightly rough; it was stupid, particularly after all the times he had been screwed over, but after Harry had saved him from prison, and introduced him to Kingsman, he had grown to trust him. Trusted him to be there, even if, Eggsy thought with a sick twist in his gut, it was only because he’d fucked up and Eggsy’s dad had died. He heard Merlin sigh on the other end of the line; he could imagine the older man pinching the bridge of his nose, and he knew he had won. 

“I shouldn’t tell you any of this, you know.” He felt a smile pull at his mouth in victory, but it slipped away as quickly as it had arrived with the man’s next words. “You fucked up Eggsy. Truly and seriously screwed up, and I’m not sure how much even Harry will be able to do.”

“I know. I just…I couldn’t shoot JB. He’s a pup, hasn’t done a thing to anyone, ‘cept silly puppy things, and he don’t deserve to die for chewing someone’s shoe, let alone for some stupid fuckin’ loyalty test!” He realised he was almost shouting. Fuck, Merlin didn’t deserve that. The Scottish man seemed to agree, if the understanding but stern calling of his name was anything to go by. 

“Eggsy. You failed the test but it didn’t have to be the biggest problem in the world, until you stole Arthur’s bloody car and went off in a tantrum. I get why you did, lad!” he said when Eggsy started spluttering. “It’s a barbaric test, and I’m saying this as the man that let you think someone had drowned on your first night. It’s one of the only reasons I’m even talking to you right now, instead of tracking you down and dragging you in.” Eggsy smirked.

“What’s the other reason? You like me or somethin’?” The older man laughed.

“You’re a cheeky bastard, you know that? But no, it’s because of Harry. Damn it, do you understand how much that man cares about you?” Eggsy snorted.

“Come off it mate. He told me about that. All to re-pay my dad, right? All ‘cos he fucked up years ago.” 

“If you think that’s all it is, then you are stupider than I think you are Eggsy.” He didn’t know how to respond to that. Christ, why would Harry care? He stood up and walked towards the kitchen, deliberately not letting his eyes stray to the bathroom door where Mr Pickles lay in all his frozen, and silently judging glory. Fuckin’ dog. 

“Whatever. Don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t answered my question. Where is he, Merlin?” There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, and Eggsy thought for a second that the other man would put him off more. 

“On a flight to the church in Kentucky”. Eggsy froze. For just a second, it felt like all his blood had gone cold, and that time had stopped as he absorbed that information. Of course, it only lasted a few seconds, before the shock morphed in outrage.

“What? Fuckin’ what, are you bloody kiddin’?! Valentine is going to fuck that place up, and he’s walked straight into it? Valentine knows, Merlin, he knows Harry ain’t no Mr Devere or whatever. Tell me he didn’t go on his own? Took Gwain, or that even that tosser, Kay?” God, please say he had, Eggsy thought frantically, although he knew, he just knew that he had gone on his own. 

“He can look after himself. You’ve seen it before.” He considered that. Sure, he’d seen Harry take out Dean’s goons in the bar, and damn that had been impressive. But that’s been against a bunch of stupid, over confident, and unfit lads, who weren’t prepared. Eggsy doubted it would be that easy this time around. 

“Yeah, and then I sat beside his bedside for fuckin’ hours after he went and put himself in a coma, chasing up a lead on his own.” Merlin hummed at that. 

“Well yes, I suppose. But you have to understand Eggsy; being a Kingsman is full of risks, and most of the time you face them on your own. Harry is the best. He’s been a knight for over 25 years, and he’s still alive. Trust me when I say that that makes him tougher than any other knight at the table”. Eggsy nodded to himself, and consciously slowed his breathing, pulling out a kitchen chair, and sinking down onto it, eyes focusing on the mug that Harry had left on the side by the kitchen sink. Harry didn’t seem like a man to just leave something on the side; no he’d clean it and leave it on the draining board, all clean and proper. He had probably left it there when he got the news earlier that morning, Eggsy realised. He shifted in his chair, and switched the phone to his other hand.

“Alright, so what am I supposed t’do?” 

“What did Harry say?”

“He told me to stay here.” He said, subdued. 

“Then that’s what you do. Trust him Eggsy.” Okay, Eggsy could do that. He didn’t have to like it, but he’d do it. 

“Alright. But I need you do me a favour.” Merlin huffed good-naturedly, apparently appeased by Eggsy’s acquiesce. 

“Another one? Presumptuous lad aren’t you? If you’re going to ask if I’ll keep you updated about Harry, don’t bother. I’d do it anyway, because otherwise you’ll just be on the phone texting me for updates, and unlike some people” he said, his light teasing evident even over the small phone speaker “I actually have work to do.”

“Yeah” Eggsy replied, relieved “Thanks. But that weren’t what I was goin’ to ask you”

“Oh?”

“Nah. Can I...”He paused for a second before continuing, unsure if asking was pushing Merlin too far. Sure, Eggsy was pretty sure the other man did actually like him, but there was a limit to the favours you could ask. He didn’t have a choice though. “Can I ask you to keep track of my mum, and sis? And if a guy called Dean Smith goes anywhere near ‘em, phone the police or somethin’?” He held his breath for the second that it took Merlin to reply. 

“Of course I can lad.” He wondered what Merlin knew about his life, that he didn’t even question it, but he decided he didn’t care. He wanted to keep his family safe by himself, but he couldn’t, and he thought with a start and a feeling of revelation, he trusted Merlin to do it for him. 

“Thanks, mate”

“Don’t ever call me that again, and we’re even. I’ll text you as soon as I have news” He heard the tapping of a keyboard restart at the other end of the line, recognising it for the gentle hint that it was. He thanked the man again before hanging up , putting the mobile on the table in front of him. 

He almost wished he was talking to the other man again; even if it’d been shit for his stress levels to hear where Harry had gone, because talking to Merlin calmed him down. Now he was left to think of all the situations Harry could be walking into, when Eggsy was stuck in his clean, warm kitchen, hours away from him. Christ this was all screwed up. 

The sun was getting lower in the sky, shinning through the windows to bathe the room in light, and Eggsy sat there for a second, remembering breakfast just yesterday (fuck, was it only yesterday?) at this table with Harry, smiling over some joke Eggsy had made as the older man had read the paper and drank his tea. Thinking of that made him realise how long it’d been since he had eaten or drunk anything, and well if he was going to be stuck here for a while, he thought, as he went to fill up the kettle, surely Harry wouldn’t mind if he had a cuppa?  

*** 

He sat in front Harry’s laptop a few hours later, cradling a new cup of tea between his hands, staring at the unlock button on the screen. It wasn’t like he didn’t know the password. He smirked at the memory of Merlin’s outraged squawk when Eggsy had mentioned that he knew it (“that grumpy, stubborn, untrusting bastard”). No, it wasn’t that, he thought, it was the idea of invading Harry’s privacy. He closed his eyes, and the look of betrayal and anger on Harry’s face before he had walked out of the door hit him. If he did this, if he watched without Harry knowing, would the other man forgive him? It was already such a mess, and what if this was the final straw? But, whispered a voice in his head that reminded him of Roxy, he did give you his password. It wasn’t like Eggsy had tricked it out of him or nothing.  

***

Harry had been awake from his coma (“Really, Eggsy, to say it was a coma is a bit over dramatic don’t you think?” . “No it bloody isn’t!” . “Yes, thank you for your input Merlin”) for a few days before Eggsy had a few hours to sit and chat with him. Harry was still in the medical wing of the manor, recovering from being unconscious for two weeks. Eggsy could see that the other man resented being trapped in bed, except for his mandatory physical therapy, but considering he had nearly been asleep when he had walked in, tablet computer lying on his lap, at just two in the afternoon, Eggsy expected that this was exactly where he needed to be. He had woken up at the swish of the door opening, and Eggsy was relieved and warmed to see the smile on the other man’s face at the sight of Eggsy. Sure, Harry had seemed to have liked him, and they’d had tea a few times throughout his busy training period, so that Harry could mother hen him, but he hadn’t been sure if the man would want to see him whilst he was recovering. But no, Harry seemed happy to see him, gesturing him to the chair beside the bed, and apologising for his dressing gown, like Eggsy gave a crap. He looked better than he had yesterday when they had gone through the footage from Harry’s glasses, his skin a warmer colour. Eggsy suppressed a shudder as he sat down; he could still remember the Professor’s head exploding, god that had been pretty rank. 

It was good to talk to Harry again. He kept finding his eyes tracing Harry’s body and face; he was so used to seeing him lying there covered in equipment, pale and still. Now he was smiling and talking to Eggsy, just like they used when they met every week, and Eggsy started to relax as he told the other man what he had been doing in training. 

“And then, he tied Edmund at the top of this tower with this bomb, and told him it was real, had ordinance blowing up in some other places, to make him think we had all failed and stuff. Christ, Edmund pissed his pants, but he did it. Shows what you can do when you think you're about to get blown up I guess.” He laughed, wiping  the tears from his eyes “I swear, Merlin is a fucked up bastard, but he does get results.” 

“Yes he really is.” Harry smiled fondly, sipping at his tea a nurse had brought for them both half an hour earlier. “Excellent at his job though, even if he'll make your life a living hell if you piss him off. Remind me to tell you of the time I brought back my glasses and suit covered in stripper glitter. The man was a menace for weeks.” A delighted grin broke over Eggsy’s face. Oh this would be brilliant. 

“Oh come on Harry! You can’t hint at a story like that and not tell it.”  Harry shook his head, shifting slightly on the bed. 

“No, it really is a story that demands alcohol. I’ll tell you another time, if you pass the tests” No matter what Harry might argue about gentleman, that was definitely a bribe and by the smirk on his lips he knew it. Eggsy threw up his hands. 

“Fine. I’ll remind you of that some time though. I mean stripper glitter, that is just cruel.” 

“It was an interesting experience. Now enough of that, what else have you been up to?” Eggsy racked his mind to think of what else had happened in the interim few weeks. 

“I’ve been here a few times as well, just to see if Merlin had figured out what happened to you. He was right pissed he couldn’t access your glasses feed, it was proper funny.” He slumped back into the chair. “Well, ‘cept for how we was all in the dark on how you’d gotten yourself blown up.” 

“Yes, that was a little short sighted of me, I have to admit.” Harry’s face took on a self deprecating look “But as a spy I find that it isn’t that easy to trust people.” 

“Yeah I get that. “ And he did. Beyond maybe Harry, and Roxy, he wasn’t sure he trusted anyone here, and he wasn’t actually sure he trusted his own mum. Loved her, with all of his heart, but trust? No. So he understood a little of where Harry was coming from with that. Still…”Maybe think of trusting someone though, yeah? Next time we could be screwed if you don’t wake up”.

Harry looked at him, and Eggsy looked back, caught by those warm brown eyes. Harry was frowning slightly, contemplative, and Eggsy didn’t know what he saw in his face, but after a slightly tense moment, Harry smiled. It wasn’t a big smile, just a little twitch on his lips, but he couldn’t help but smile back. 

“How far have your got on morse code?” Eggsy raised his eyebrows, unprepared for the apparently sudden subject change. 

“Learnt it weeks back. Just patterns, and they’re easy, always have been”. The older man nodded approvingly, before holding out his hand. 

“Give me your hand Eggsy.” 

“What for?” Eggsy replied, automatically slightly suspicious, even if it was Harry that was asking. 

“Have a little trust my boy” Eggsy hesitated for a second, unsure where the other man was going with this, before reaching across and placing his hand in Harry’s waiting one. Harry brought his other hand up and cupped Eggsy’s hand in his. The rush of feeling that hit him at the feel of Harry’s warm and dry skin against his own surprised him. It was like his skin was tingling, and he was hyper conscious of every inch of skin. He swallowed and looked up at Harry, who was watching him with an indulgent smile. 

“Pay attention Eggsy” He felt a blush work up his cheeks, thinking Harry had noticed how distracted he was, before felt Harry’s thumb begin to gently tap against his palm. He flicked his eyes up to Hary’s face in surprise for a moment, before he realised that there was a pattern to the movements. He almost laughed; he had said he was very good at patterns, particularly morse code. He focused on the the letters that Harry tapped out, but the longer Harry went on, the less sense it made. Eggsy had begun to doubt his skills, because he must be missing somethin’. He kept his mouth closed though and a minute or so later, the tapping stopped. 

“Can you remember all of that?” Harry confirmed, and Eggsy shrugged, nodding. His palm was still tingling from the gentle touch of Harry’s thumb, and he thought it’d probably stay there, imprinted on his skin for hours after. 

“Remember? Yeah, ‘course I can.” he said, smirking. “I don’t get what it meant though Harry.” Harry gave his hand a squeeze, before letting it go and leaning back against the raised hospital bed. For a brief, maybe insane moment, Eggsy wanted to reach back and grab Harry’s hand back, get that warm feeling back, but instead he lent back as well, dropping his right hand back into his lap and covering it with his left. It was a poor substitute, but it helped. Christ, he must be touch starved if he was reacting like this. 

“Well done. I’m not surprised it didn’t make sense though. That was the password to my laptop and glasses feed.” He said this all calmly, and all Eggsy could do was stare at him in shock. 

“You musta hit your head pretty fuckin’ hard to be given’ me that Harry. You ain’t even given that to Merlin, and you two have known each other for years, right?” Harry’s eyes twinkled, and Eggsy realised that the other man had probably never told Merlin not because he didn’t trust him, but because he knew it would infuriate the other man. Jesus, Harry really was a bastard sometimes, and it made Eggsy like him even more. 

“Yes, and his face when he finds out I have given it to you first will certainly be a sight. But” he nodded to Eggsy, his voice sure and warm “I trust you Eggsy. I need to give access to someone, just in case something like this happens again, and no one can see what happened to me. Merlin’s department gets a copy, but all the original data comes to my home terminal. I need you to make sure that information gets to the right people, if the worst should occur. Do you understand Eggsy?” Eggsy looked at the other man, where he lay in the bed. The red of his dressing gown accentuated the pale colour of his cheeks, and Eggsy could tell that he was tired from physical therapy earlier in the day. It’d been too close of a call this time, and from what Merlin had mentioned to Eggsy a few weeks ago, when he had found the younger man sat at the man’s bedside, it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. He understood the trust that this showed and smiles reassuringly at the other man. 

“Yeah, I understand you Harry. Y’can trust me with that, I won’t let you do.”

***

He’d promised not to let Harry down, he remembered. Jesus, well that obviously hadn't lasted long, because just three weeks later, he was standing in this house telling Eggsy how he had disappointed and humiliated him. He looked around at all the newspapers that Harry had in his office. There had to be at least 50 of them, and they were all for missions that Harry had pulled off without the public ever knowing what he had been up to. That was fuckin’ skill. He didn’t need Eggsy violating his privacy and watching over him or nothing, it was just Eggsy needed to know what was going on. He didn't feel right, same as when he had drunk that drugged champagne, and after the life he had had so far, he had learned to trust those instincts. The fact that Harry had promised to sort it all out, that must of meant somethin’ he thought. It was this, and the churning worry in his stomach that finally allowed him to push his reservations aside, and he clicked the button. 

At first, it wasn’t all that excitin’. Sure, Eggsy was slightly tense because of where Harry was, but beyond the sick crap that the so called priest was spouting, there didn’t seem to be anything much of interest happening. Harry and Merlin seemed to agree, and Eggsy hoped that this time it was a dead end. It was disappointin’ that they didn’t know more about Valentine’s plan, yeah, but Eggsy just wanted to be proved wrong about this sinking feeling that he had. He laughed out loud when replied to the woman. “Hail Satan”, fuckin’ nutcase. The smile dropped off his face though, when Harry turned around and shot the woman in the face and it all broke down into chaos. Fuck. He watched in horror and awe, unable to look away from something that wasn’t short of absolute carnage. Harry was decimating the people around him, and Eggsy had no fuckin’ idea what was going on, but he would bet every penny that he owned that it was Valentine. He didn’t know how, but this was him. It seemed to last for hours, and seconds at the same time, but then it was over, and Harry seemed to be standing in the middle of the destroyed church. He was breathing hard and staring ahead at the same point, like he couldn’t process what the hell had happened. God, Eggsy wanted to be there. But Harry had survived, hadn’t he? He might not be okay, fuck he was probably a mess, but it didn’t matter, because he was alright enough to walk out. Then of course Valentine had to be stood outside. 

Eggsy wishes sometimes that his memory wasn’t quite as good as it was. Eidetic, Roxy had called it with some resentment. He preened at the time, but it wasn’t always a good thing. Sure he could pass tests with ease, and he never forgot his sister’s first steps, but he could also remember every time his mother screamed, every bruise and humiliation he had every had. It was nothing compared to seeing Valentine raise the gun and shoot Harry in the face. He hadn’t even been aware he was screaming before he felt the rawness of it in his throat, staring at the crackling picture on the screen of the bright blue Kentucky sky, spattered with red. Red. Harry’s blood. Oh god, he couldn’t handle this. Fuck. 

He ran out of the room, that was too red. Away from that picture on the screen and the ringing of the gun shot in his ears. Fuck, he needed a drink, he needed….Christ he didn’t know. The burn of the alcohol down his throat brought him back and he breathed in and out slowly, trying to cope with the echoing emptiness inside of him. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but the one thing he did know was he couldn’t wait for Harry now. He’d be back, but first he needed to go out there, and find Arthur and Merlin. He could collapse later, and he knew it would hit properly when he did, but Eggsy knew that Harry wouldn’t want him to sit and mourn now, not when everything was all fucked up. He’d want Eggsy to get up and pick it up where he left off, and that was exactly what Eggsy was going to do, no matter what. 

Because fuck if Harry was going to die for nothing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. I might do a sequel if anyone wants one, and my muse co-operates.


End file.
